bodies-under-siege email support group

bodies-under-siege FAQ

bus (bodies under siege) is a thriving, close-knit, vibrant community of people who all have one thing in common: self-injury has somehow affected their lives. Most of the members of bus are people who have or still do inflict physical harm on themselves as a way of dealing with overwhelming situations. Although many bus subscribers are trying to stop hurting themselves (and quite a few are SI-free), a desire to stop is not a requirement for membership. More details can be found at bus Central.

The list gets quite a bit of mail; many people choose to set up a separate email account for it. I provide free, anonymous, ad-free email for members of the bus community at busmail. Accounts have a 10 meg quota and are completely private.

You can subscribe to bus here. Digest subscribers get 5-8 big messages per day, each containing 15-25 smaller emails made into one file. Regular list subscribers get each post as it is sent to the list; the list receives 70-100 posts daily.

The mailing list led to creation of a passworded private irc channel for people to get support and contact with others when they need someone to talk to. The channel is also a good place to be social; it can be crowded at times, but if you just jump in you'll be a regular in no time. Please be sure to follow the channel guidelines while chatting. If you have questions, please contact me for more information.

Questions frequently asked about the bus list

1. What does "bus" mean?: The acronym bus stands for bodies under siege, which in turn is the title of one of Dr. Armando Favazza's seminal book on self-injury.
The list itself was originally conceived as a safe place for people concerned with self-injury to speak the unspeakable. In a world where we're treated like freaks or outcasts as soon as anyone learns about our problem, bus stands as a place to find relief, support, and understanding. It's also evolved into a place for people to share tips about and work together toward recovery.
2. Do I have to cut {burn, hit, pick at scabs, break bones, etc} myself to be on bus?: No. Anyone with an interest in self-injury is welcome. In fact, friends and loved ones of those who injure themselves are particularly welcome, because the more people in a self-injurer's life who know and understand what's going on, the easier it is for that person to work toward recovery. However, there is a separate section on the bus Web Board for families, friends, and partners of people who self-harm.
3. What kinds of people are on a list like this?: We range in age from 14 to 50+. We are professionals, engineers, teachers, parents, blue collar workers, nurses, counselors, unemployed, students. We are male and female; gay, straight, bi... we're diverse to the point of defying description.
4. What are the rules?: They're pretty simple, and are designed to make the list as safe as possible for as many people as possible. You can see the complete list of guidelines here.

Please realize that self-injury is a sensitive topic and many people are not "out" about it. On bus, we respect the right of others to decide whom they will tell what about their lives.

By its nature, bus tends to be slightly upsetting reading for some people. It's often a good idea to take a few moments to gather your thoughts before reading list mail. Do some relaxation exercises or deep breathing.

If you read something that upsets you, get some space before you respond. Write your response and let it sit for a day, then reread it and edit out anything that sounds like a personal attack. Remind yourself that not everyone knows what will push your buttons, and that all of us on the list tend to be a bit hypersensitive to criticism. If you feel you have been personally attacked, please contact me privately to discuss the situation before you post about it to the list. Chances are that the person you think is attacking you is reacting to something *you* didn't realize would upset *them*.
5. What is the digest form?: "Digest" is kind of inaccurate, because you get exactly the same messages when you're subscribed to the digest as you do when you're on the regular list. The only difference is how you get them. If you are on the regular list, you get new messages as they are sent, one at a time. The digest saves up individual messages and sends out a bunch of them at once, all put into one big message. There are about 5-8 digests/day, and each has 15-30 messages in it.
6. What's all this recovery stuff about?: One of the goals of bus is to help and support people who feel ready to stop. To this end, information about techniques for stopping, techniques for "retraining" your brain to respond differently in crisis situations, and information about how to find help are often posted to the list.
7. Does this mean that I don't belong if I'm not ready to stop?: Not at all. We recognize that some people aren't yet ready to let go of self-injury as a coping mechanism, and we as a group are as supportive of them as we are of those who are trying to stop. bus is a place where you can say anything, express the pain you've kept bottled up for years, purge yourself -- it's just that one of its main foci is on recovery. But recovery shouldn't, and doesn't, come at the expense of those who are not quite ready to commit to stopping. And for some people, three days without self-harm is as hard as three months for others. bus is about encouragement and respecting limits.
8. What is a spoiler and when should I use one?: A spoiler is a warning in the subject line that the material posted is intense or graphic and might trigger some people -- that is, increase their desire to self-harm. As a courtesy, the people of bus warn each other when a post contains religious content, eating-disorder/weight-related content, or intense and graphic descriptions of abuse, self-harm, self-hatred, sex, and suicidality. Suicide notes, personal attacks, and reposts of private mail aren't permitted and off-topic discussions of controversial subjects should be avoided. Again, see the list guidelines for a full explanation of when to use spoilers.

Use your own judgment in deciding whether to heed spoilers. If you're feeling fragile, you might want to skip spoilered items.
9. What do all these acronyms mean?: People on the list often use acronyms as a sort of shorthand. Bus Central has a list of common acronyms with a link to a list of IRC/chat slang and acronyms.
10. Speaking of DID, can alters post?: Yes, but you will be held responsible for anything posted under your name. Please keep yourself safe.
11. What is the proper term for hurting yourself?: There isn't one. You'll find it called all sorts of things -- parasuicide, self-mutilation, self-abuse, self-destructive behavior... most people on bus prefer to call it "self-injury" or "self-harm."
12. What's the incentive program?: It's been discontinued until I find a way to mass-produce tokens, but the original plan was: You set a goal. At 30, 60, and 100 days of no-injury, I'd send you tokens. The whole thing works on the honor system.
13. I heard people can call you if they're crashing. Is this true?: Sort of. If you're in a really bad space, I'd rather you phone your therapist or a local crisis line. They have the resources to offer you immediate help. However, in special circumstances I'll agree to be a phone backup for some people. Email me for more details.
Please realize, though, that I'm human and have bad days just like you. I can't guarantee how helpful I'll be, but I do have suicide/crisis intervention training.
14. Who are you to be offering this?: Good question. I have extensive training and experience as a crisis hotline counselor, as well as a B.S. in psychology. I also used to self-injure, but have been stopped for more than four and half years.

bodies-under-siege FAQ

Questions frequently asked about the bus list

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